getting it out

just trying to get it out
trying to go through the emotions
trying to heal

not ready to wander into a bar and make small talk
not looking to walk into a party and make small talk
had a hard time this week making small talk
when I tell a story I feel the emotion
I can really taste it

it is hard for me to tell the story of Roscoe's death
I have cried in front of my various bosses at work today
cried in front of men
cried in front of women
it hurts
I loved that dam dog roscoe
I do not feel like less of a man for crying
although I am sure that I look pretty funny to anyone who does not really care for or about me