everything is different.... even taking out the trash

everything has changed
just as it changed my life to have these dogs enter my life
it will also change my life to have them exit
everything has changed

every step around the house
every future step of my life

tonight I went to take out some recycling ... just some papers, bottles, and cans
sure the pick up was this morning
but... sometimes things go out when they go out
so tonight I took the recycling out to an empty can

the normal routine would be that I go out through the kitchen, out the back deck, then into the alley
the normal routine would be to check for the dogs on the ground floor and invite them out back for a pee and some fresh air
tonight the routine changed
tonight I checked for Brutus and Brutus alone
he was downstairs and he joined me in the alley

his behavior was pretty much the same
he either tries to move ahead of me and squeeze through the gate like a cat
or he stands back in a sort of skidish hesitancy as I open the iron gate that opens into the tight space between a tall cement wall and the garage
as per usual he came out behind me and sniffed about
not so much in need of urination

it was interesting
although his behavior was same
the experience was completely different

Roscoe would have waited patiently as I opened the gate a few steps behind
well. he would try and lead and I would have to usher him back
then roscoe exited right before my invite or my command
neck, head, and ears would raise as he looked one way then the next
sometimes he would make a quick few steps in anticipation
maybe in an effort to shake something out of the brush
then he would search
if there was a hint of movement his steps would accelerate

depending on my focus and my tasks he would get caught verbally before the lunge or let go after the action had already been started
the cats always got away
I always was close behind in case they did not get away or got cornered

but that did not happen tonight
no...
brutus did as brutus usually does
sure he chases the occassional cat
but he was not always on the lookout like Roscoe may have been

tomorrow I may tell the story different
as these dogs are each over eight years old
over that eight years their lives have gone through stages and evolution
the removal of roscoe from the world is part of brutus' continueing evolution