Tuesday, July 18, 2006

a familiar site a sad site

on roscoe's last saturday alive he declined rapidly
but... it was hard for me to notice
as he was in his usual place
doing his usual hanging out thing

the afternoon had its usual madness
lisa was out running some errands while I tried to entertain the boys
like a fool I tried to multi-task
tried entertaining the boys while swapping out the deadbolt on the front door
grant was ignoring his call to take a nap
and brutus was acting odd
dean was well entertained with a halloween catalog even it it was the start of summer

brutus can often act odd
so his strange behavior did not pull up any red flags
in hindsight his anxious behavior with his paw clawing at my shin was his was of trying to tell me something
in a lassie sort of way brutus was trying to tell me that roscoe was not okay
but... I was distracted
from my perspective roscoe resting on the dog bed seemed completely normal

it was only later that evening that I noticed the extent of his lethargy

that night I sat with him and tried to get a sense of his condition
after some time on the floor downstairs I headed upstairs to watch some television
roscoe joined me
thinking things were normal I did not sit with him on the floor
I accepted roscoe at my feet as being close enough

when lisa went to bed she called roscoe
he hesitated
I snapped my fingers and sent him to bed
he got up and went into the other room
climbed into bed
things seemed pretty normal

thought he had a cold
thought that his condition was something that would pass

figured we would monitor him
pay attention to his condition the following morning
take him to the vet on monday if his condition continued

as the story played out
he woke fairly normal
then on a walk in the woods with lisa he flopped down and refused to move

lisa rushed back from the woods crying
I drove down to the woods to retrieve my dog
immediately I took him to the vet


Blogger UU Soul said...

I know that self-torture well... I was filled with if only's and maybe if I had's after Topaz died... after the decision to let her go... after suffering we would have given anything to have prevented... But I think she forgives us. She was like that you know. Animals are so forgiving.... my tears flow even now.

Glad to see you posting again on Gwadzilla.

8:15 PM  

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